Talk about feelings and emotions to diffuse a bully. This is known to sometimes stop bullies in their tracks. Most people who bully others are not comfortable hearing about feelings. Here is an example:

Mean Person: I think I’ll punch your lights out after school today.
Other Person: I’m sure you could do that. I would be really bummed out if you did attack me.
Mean Person: Yeah, well, I might just do that.
Other Person: I guess you’re feeling a bit disappointed about the game today?
Mean Person: Leave me alone.
Other Person: You did play really well though, even if you did lose.
Mean Person: Whatever.
Other Person: See you around.

In the above dialogue, you can tell that the bully is starting to soften in response to the ‘Other Person’. This can actually happen in real life. Just be careful how you chose your words. Don’t let the bully think that you are taunting.

Try to ignore the bully’s words and feed back the feelings behind his comments.

Being honest and straightforward with your feelings can make a bully sit up and take notice. Sometimes they completely change direction and leave you alone.

We offer workshops and assemblies to deal with bullying head on.
Stand Up Against Bullying / Cyberbullying – Got 2 Go
Visit www.standupagainstbullying.com
Bruce Langford, Bullying Prevention Presenter

Here is a tip shared with the students during the cyber-bullying assembly:

 Cyberbullying Tip: Unplug your webcam when you are not using it. Your computer could get hacked and if so, everything the webcam is focusing on could be seen by someone you don’t even know.
If your webcam is built into your computer, cover it with a piece of tape or a sticky note.
Don’t take the chance that someone could invade your privacy. Be careful!

 Bullying can happen as a result of computer hacking and a breach of privacy.

Gulfstream Vice-Principal, Donelda Schwartzentruber said “The assemblies were really good – just what we were looking for. The students were very attentive and our teachers were pleased.”

School Assemblies by Stand Up Now Productions www.standupnow.ca

1. Print or Save if a chat becomes nasty or threatening.
2. Check your privacy settings regularly on your social networking sites – make sure they are set to high safety levels.
3. Use appropriate language at all times in texts, chats & e-mails.
4. Only add friends you really know to social networking sites.
5. Share any concerns about on-line issues with a trusted adult.

 Book school assemblies by visiting www.brucelangford.ca

Being part of a club or team can also help people feel connected to others. Think about your interests and then consider whether there might be a group or team you can join where you will be participating in the activity you love. You will be sure to develop connections with some of the people you are sharing your activity with.

Being connected with people will help to reduce the chance that you will be bullied. It will help you build self-esteem and you will be happier over all.

Bruce Langford’s School Programs to teach respect, build confidence & grow self-esteem can be found at www.standupnow.ca

A boy came to us following a high school presentation, and shared a situation that had been weighing heavy on his mind. He just didn’t know what to do with the feelings of guilt he had been carrying with him.

Guilt is often an emotion that people struggle to deal with, yet it does have a purpose. It can actually help keep people on the right track. This kind of guilt is helpful.

Guilt can also become overwhelming when we feel guilty about something in the past that we can’t change. In this case, talk to someone you trust about your feelings of guilt.

Here are 3 Tips for Dealing With Guilt.

1. Identify your guilt.
Can the guilt you are feeling actually help you to make better choices in the future? If you are feeling guilty about stealing something, realize that by making up your mind to never steal again, it will also help to end your feelings of guilt. If you are feeling guilty about something that isn’t necessarily wrong or unacceptable, focus on the facts and make up your mind to move on.

 2. Make changes right away
Use the guilt feeling to immediately change your behaviours so you won’t be dealing with more guilt about similar situations. Can you make changes in your life to become a better person as a result of the guilt you are feeling? Do not dwell on situations that have happened in the past that you can’t change. Instead, use them as a learning tool for the future and look ahead rather than back.

 3. Accept that we are all learning
Life is a process of learning from our experiences. There are no perfect people and we all make mistakes. Realize that guilt is a normal part of what makes us human.

 To book school bullying prevention assemblies contact us at www.standupagainstbullying.com

Following the primary assembly, a staff member told us she felt our ‘Stand Up’ theme song spoke volumes to the students and staff. It teaches us to Stand Up Against Bullying by being an upstander. Here are the lyrics:

Stand Up, and make your mark,
Stand Up, and speak your part.
If you see a kid put down,
You can help if you’re around
Never approve of the slam,
Say you think that it’s wrong.
Have the nerve to speak up;
Let them know that you’re strong.
STAND UP.

 Be an Upstander, remember to ‘Stand Up Against Bullying.
www.standupagainstbullying.com

School assemblies designed to raise bullying awareness – www.atfm.ca

1. Write a song and share it with your family, school, radio station or You-Tube
2. Talk to an expert and find out ways you can volunteer with their organization
3. If you are a student, talk to your student council rep about having a ‘Stand Up Against Bullying’ day at your school
4. If you are employed at a school,  start a poster campaign to raise awareness
5. If you are being bullied – talk to someone; write about it and then try to make changes in your life so the bullying will stop.
6. If you bully people, take a vow to stop this destructive behaviour – it not only hurts others, it hurts you.

 Together, we can all help stop bullying!
Visit www.standupagainstbullying.com

He had
COURAGE. He was willing to move forward regardless of whether the majority of people agreed with him or not. That kind of courage requires an underlying
CONFIDENCE that is gained from experience and strength of character. Confidence can also be built through self-talk, study and
DETERMINATION. Think of a laser beam pointing in one specific direction and never wavering from its target. That is like the determination of Winston Churchill when he became Prime Minister at the age of sixty-five. It is also like the determination of a person who is focusing on making the world a better place by eliminating bullying. Winston Churchill also had tremendous
PERSEVERANCE as he wasn’t willing to give up easily. His perseverance helped him move through his election defeat in 1945 when he was voted out by the same people he had earlier led to victory. In spite of that defeat, he remained grounded and stayed on as leader of the opposition. Later he was elected as prime minister again in 1950.

Think of Churchill and these four character traits when you deal with bullying situations. What would Churchill have done? Would he have given up, or continued to persevere?

We visited Winston Churchill Public School in Chatham yesterday and were impressed with the students and the serious attitude they had in regard to Standing Up Against Bullying. Principal, Leslie Boulton was very pleased with the three assemblies and told us they were “even better than our last visit to her school”. That was when she was principal at Harwich Raleigh Public School (Lambton Kent District School Board) in 2005.
Remember to ‘Stand Up Against Bullying’.

The information covered in the Neighbourhood Watch workshop was cyberbullying, family dynamics, facebook and how to cope with tough bullying situations.

Here is a tip that Bruce shared during the talk in Blenheim:

Sit with your children and discuss the ground rules for internet use in your home. Talk with your family about expectations on the web and regarding the use of cell phones.

This tip can make a big difference later, if a complicated challenge arises involving cyberbullying.
Visit Blenheim Neighbourhood Watch on Facebook!

Bruce Langford does talks and presentations across Ontario on the topic of bullying and cyberbullying. He can be contacted at 1-800-901-8831 or through ‘Stand Up Now Productions’.